Kisses and Curses
by Trilies
Summary: Princesses kissing frogs is the oldest cliché in the book. Except... He's not really a frog. Just the size of one. Lexaeus&Alice friendship


**Title:** Kisses and Curses  
**Author:** Trilies  
**Genre:** Vaguely humor/romance..ish.  
**Word length:** 809  
**Sypnosis:** Princesses kissing frogs is the oldest cliché in the book. Except... He's not really a frog. Just the size of one.  
**Rating:** G  
**Yaoi/Yuri/Pairings**: Lexaeus&Alice, although you could claim it to be Lexaeus/Alice, if you wanted. But the friendship option is cuter.

**Disclaimer: **This is not for profit. All characters below belong to Disney and Squeenix. This is merely for fun.

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"This is the first time I've ever been _smaller_ than some one." In a way, he's almost amused. Wonderland is a very fascinating place, once one stops trying to force sense onto it, like Vexen does. Speaking of the reason for his change in stature ("For science!" he had said. "I'm 100% positive it's not poisonous!" he'd said.), Lexaeus ponders where his companions could possibly have wandered off to. Hopefully, getting the other half of the mushroom...

"Well, are you sure you haven't always been small?" asks the blonde girl whose hands he's on. Undoubtedly to her, it sounds as if she's whispering, but to Lexaeus, her voice is still much too loud.

With a wince, he just bears through it. "It sounds as thought you'd make a fine philosopher," he says, a compliment the girl beams at. "However, I am sure I had been much larger than this before I ate that mushroom."

Realization flashes across her face. "Oh! You ate a mushroom as well? Well, one side makes you larger while the other makes you smaller..."

"Indeed. It's hard to tell which is which, however."

"Oh, dear, you're right." Frowning, she looks down at her feet, where mushrooms of almost every type cluster about. This isn't as easy as she thought it would be...

"I have a friend with me," Lexaeus assures her. "He's trying to find it."

"Where is he?"

"Who knows," Lexaeus sighs, shaking his head.

"He doesn't sound like a good- Oh me, oh my, I do apologize," she cries, then winces when Lexaeus claps his hands over his ears. "I'm sorry," she whispers. "I really shouldn't say such things about friends of yours whom I don't even know."

"It's alright," he says. "Whatever you can say wouldn't be the worst that's been said about him."

The girl smiles hesitantly, unsure if she should be relieved or not, before she appears to remember something. "How rude of me, I never introduced myself." Holding Lexaeus in one hand, she curtsies using the other. "My name is Alice, and it's a pleasure to meet you."

"The pleasure is all mine," Lexaeus replies. "My name is Lexaeus."

"What an odd name," she muses. "Well, there simply _must_ be another way to make you regular size again. I wonder..." They both fall silent, trying to think. After a few moments of it, Alice is the first to speak once more. "Would it, perhaps, work like in the fairytales?"

"Fairytales?" he prompts.

"Oh, Mother and Father let me read them. In the stories, a fair princess will kiss a frog, or a duck, or some other such thing, and that will turn the animal back into a person! Do you see?"

"Quite."

"Oh." Alice pauses, a frown once again coming over her face. "The only problem is, we'd have to find a princess, and the only royalty I know of is that _dreadful_ Queen of Hearts! I don't know if there are any princesses around..."

Lexaeus smiles at this, but says nothing but, "You're certainly fair enough, Miss Alice. Are you certain you are unable to do something?"

She laughs, and quickly smothers herself. "Oh, I doubt I really... But Wonderland is such a strange place." Tilting her head to the side, she smiles. "Perhaps it may work." As if this is some big, spectacular event, Alice dusts herself off and even straightens her skirt. Finally, she asks, "Are you ready?" When he nods, she closes her eyes and leans down...

Very, very carefully, she kisses Lexaeus on the top of his head.

A pause. With her nose wrinkled in curiosity, Alice peeks out at him with one eye. He's still just as small as he was before. Disappointment crosses both their faces. "Oh, bother," Alice murmurs unhappily-

_**POOF!**_

Alice jumps back in surprise, baby blue eyes wide as Lexaeus falls to the ground. He looks just as shocked as she is, sprawled out on the grass. As he pushes himself onto his feet, now normal sized, Alice jumps up and down while she claps her hands. "Fantastic! Oh, how fantastic, it worked after all! You really _are_ bigger than me."

"I know." Smiling somewhat, Lexaeus dusts himself off. "Thank you for the help."

"Oh, you're very welcome." Alice curtsies once more. "I don't suppose you could help me as well? You see, I was looking for my kitten Dinah..."

"I haven't seen her," Lexaeus tells her, and that's probably a good thing. "However, I'll help you look. Perhaps we'll find my friends as well." He offers her his arm. "Shall we?"

Beaming with delight, Alice loops her arm through his. Together, they continue down the path.

---------Elsewhere---------

"I cannot believe you shrunk Lexaeus," Zexion hisses, eyes narrowed and a kitten in his arms. A sneeze answers him. "I'm not even going to give that a response." A series of sneezes, this time. "It doesn't matter that you did it for science!"

Looking sulky, Vexen crosses his arms, and casts a glare at the cat.


End file.
